I tried on a new self-descriptor today, not sure whether I like it: eating disability. I have never thought of myself as having any disability, so this is a new experience and a new self-reference.
While in the spectrum of disabilities this is pretty minor, it’s an affliction that requires that I compensate in order to function fully in daily life. It’s also something that I find myself having to explain to others, especially with those with whom I share meals.
Some discussion topics get repetitive when traveling, and I have certain “elevator speech” responses to some strangers’ questions, such as where I have ridden and where I’m heading. When asked about the nature and purpose of my travel adventure, I reply that I am celebrating retirement from Positive Energy Solar, good health and being alive. Each of these three is specific to an aspect of my current life. The first is obvious: retirement from the company I founded has given me the time without work obligations for awhile, allowing me to be out on the road. Good health is celebrating simply being able to still be physically active at age 63 (which I will turn on the 20th of this month). The third part, being alive, is an oblique reference to having gone through treatment for base-of-tongue cancer 2 1/2 years ago. Had it not been discovered and treated it would have likely eventually killed me.
The cancer treatment involved chemotherapy, which had no long-term effects, and intense focused radiation on the tumor in my neck, which left minor visible burn scars and a number of apparently permanent minor disabilities. My throat is scarred, so I cough and choke easily, which can interrupt speech, although it always passes. I have no salivary function, so I depend on my Camelback while riding, and sip water or beer with each bite of food. My taste buds were zapped by the radiation, so some flavors are off and have lost their appeal. And my tongue is in effect permanently burned, so I can’t tolerate caliente – spicy-hot food, green or red chile and such, and acidic foods like vinaigrette salad dressings.
I find myself explaining this last more frequently than I had expected, as on these travels I have shared more meals with others than I have eaten alone. I shared meals with Don, with his family, with Robin and Bob of Midnite, with Kelly, and with my Warmshowers host families. I have to watch closely what I put in my mouth, so I often caution my dining companions up front.
I’m done with cancer. I have moved on, fully engaged and fully alive. Explaining my “eating disability” brings it back each time. And as I learned during my treatment, cancer is a loaded word for most of us: it engenders fear and sympathy. I learned that I could “play the cancer card” when I wanted or needed to – sort of like a free pass to cut to the head of the line. I’d rather not have to play that card any more.
I have never seen this road sign in New Mexico. It’s for a playground up ahead.
Mt. Adams, taken from the highest point on Guemes Island.
A Tibetan buddhist stupa near the south end of Whidbey Island.